Falling asleep

[HanoiHelle]

Need suggestions ! Lately, it's been taking CM between 45 and 60 minutes to fall asleep at night. This is after a bath, a few books and lots of cuddles. A normal evening looks like this:

6 pm dinner
6:30 - 7:30 play, bath, nighties
7:30 - 7:45/8:00 books
7:45/8:00 laying down to go to sleep . . . but it just takes too long!

I don't know what to do. I lay down with her, and snuggle. I close my eyes and say now I am sleeping, hug her, pat her back, etc., but she just doesn't go to sleep. She is tired, but it seems like she fights going off to sleep. She doesn't cry. Sometimes she want me to stand up and rock her with her head on my shoulder, then lie down again. She fidgets, tries to get me to open my eyes, little stuff. Sometimes, I just get so exasperated that I tell her to stop and go to sleep in a hard voice. I can tell that it hurts her feelings, but usually that does make her slow down and eventually go to sleep.

I feel bad because I am gone all day, and we only have 4-5 hours together during the work day, but it also makes me feel a bit resentful - I really have zero downtime: busy with her at home and busy at work, plus I often have to get some work done at night when she sleeps, (but I am just too tired to start at 9 pm, so I also feel bad about not geetting enough done workwise!).

How do you handle night time sleep time? I read the posts about "going to sleep breakthroughs," but I know that leaving her before she's sleeping just won't work, - she'll go ballistic.

Any suggestions? I am not expecting it to take 5-10 mins., but 45 mins to an hour is too long!

p.s. the nights are pretty good. She stays in her bed without waking up until some point during the night, when I bring her into our bed until morning.

Thanks

[kokonutmama]

  No advice, I can only offer love for you.

[moogie]

With Charlie, if she mucks around too much in the bedroom while going to sleep we tell her that she's clearly not ready for sleep and we leave the room (we also leave the door open).  she gets annoyed but understands and calms down to go to sleep.

What would happen if you only read one book in terms of shortening the time?

[mum2maddox]

i kow this sounds awfull but sounds like CM is just like maddox (one of those kids that is wie awake till ther asleep) and ive found that the best way is to lie down next to madox but say mummy is going ni ni now and turn my back to him and pretent to be asleep...  this way he knows im there and will be intercepted if he trie to climb out of bed but also he usually rolls over and spoons me haha and within a minute or two he is asleep.

i think the reassurance of me bneing there but the lack of stimulation of seeing my ace and stuff makes the difference.

[jnezmama02]

Have you tried moving her bedtime a little later (maybe 8:15pm instead) to see if that makes a difference? It may not make any difference in how long it takes, but maybe she needs to get a little more tired first before being ready to settle down. Not sure, but I know Emily is starting to stretch out the amt of time she needs to be awake before going to sleep.

[skeettafic]

Have you tried gently trying to encourage her to fall asleep on her own.  Jocelyn is exactly the same way if we lay down with her - you can actually see her keeping herself awake - so it isn't an option for us on a regular basis.  We've done a combination of walking her back to her bed if she isn't crying and then sitting beside her bed and rubbing her back if she is upset.  Now, most nights she falls asleep on her own after stories and such. 

We have a very similar night time schedule as you do and the timing works pretty well for Jocelyn.  She is usually asleep about 20 minutes after we leave her room, sometimes sooner and sometimes later.  Some nights she comes out once or twice for an extra kiss but a lot of the time we don;t hear from her at all.

HTH

[HanoiHelle]

Thanks for your suggestions. I might try to just sit next to her instead of lying down with her, - as a first step towards encouraging CM to go to sleep on her own. 

An interesting aside, - it seems like she only takes this long with me. If her nanny puts her to sleep, it's much quicker; even when her daddy does it. And, btw, when I put her down for her nap on weekends, she's out and asleep in less than 10 mins.

I also have wondered if her nap is too long/late in the day and if that impacts the time it takes her to go to sleep. Ususally she sleeps 1.5 to 2 hours; getting up no later than 2pm (on weekdays, it's usually a bit later on weekends).
What is your DC's nap schedule?

[skeettafic]

Days that she is home, Jocelyn naps 1.5 to 2 hours (generally closer to 1.5 now) and is almost always asleep by 12:20 and up by 2:30.  We keep bedtime routine pretty much the same unless she happens to get an extra late or long nap and then we might move it back an hour depending on her mood that afternoon.

[kokonutmama]

How are things going?  What if you gave her a big teddy bear or something?  is that weird?