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Healthy Parenting Forum  |  General Category  |  Positive Parenting (Moderator: mum2maddox)  |  Topic: things i have said today to dh.... « previous next »
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moogie
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things i have said today to dh....
« on: November 23, 2006, 03:24:32 PM »

kind of jokingly but not.

About c:
Is she old enough to do CIO yet?  evil devil
can we just knock her out for a little while.
Lets put Asha next to her so she knows how it feels.(Ashas loves her sister and likes to grab at her)
can we just loock her in her room?

MIL and FIL left for India on the 17th.  Charlie is not dealing very well, so we're all not dealing well.  Charlie saw her MIL nearly every day.  So far I've been hit a few times, this morning i had a wooden block thrown at my head.  that one really hurt.  We're trying to give her lots of attention but it doesn't seem to matter. 

this is a vent and i guess maybe some suggestions on how to deal with this would be appreciated.
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jnezmama02
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Re: things i have said today to dh....
« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2006, 04:59:32 PM »

Our girls love my MIL. She visits every 2-3 weeks and she usually spends the night when she visits. Anyway, the day after one of her visits is always the hardest days for us. There's always lots of whining, fussing, and acting out. Then it subsides by the next day. Obviously, your situation is more dramatic as she saw her everyday and then won't see her for a long while...but I think what you're seeing is completely normal and understandable. However, the throwing and hitting is unacceptable, regardless of the reason why.  I'm sure you've already been doing this, but I recommend using natural consequences for this behavior. Not sure what you feel comfortable doing, but I would say "No throwing toys, it hurts. These will be put away for the rest of the afternoon." and then set them out of her reach (and preferably out of her eyesight).

Good luck!   pink flower hug
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Hope




kokonutmama
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Re: things i have said today to dh....
« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2006, 09:55:00 AM »

 heart try, really try, not to take it personally.  I know sometimes when Kody's in a biting or hitting mood it's hard not to react like he's being "mean" to me even though I know he's not, it even makes me cry if I'm already down or stressed for some other reason.  Plus, it must be tough because it seems to be a result of the PIL going away.  again, I don't know how to accomplish it, but not taking it personally seems like a good idea.

ditto Hope about the blocks, etc.  I say things like, "Sweetie, we don't throw blocks at people's heads because that can hurt them.  Can you play with the blocks without throwing?" then he either throws or doesn't.  if he does I tell him, "I can help you not throw your blocks by taking them away.  We'll play with them again later."  He cries, but gets over it.  Sometimes too I'll let him throw blocks at his doll's heads or something.  I don't know ifi this is good advice, goodness knows I'm not the parenting guru!  Good luck, keep your chin up, take her to the park and let her beat up on someone else for a break.  lol, jk, sort of.
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A,  mama to K, 12/24/04


moogie
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Re: things i have said today to dh....
« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2006, 01:51:25 PM »

thanks guys, i do take the offending toys away, but she doesn't care about that.  she does these things usually because she thinks its funny or she is pretending to be a dinosaur, its usually not malicious..  I'm very glad she doesn't do it to Asha.  she just kisses and hugs her and steals her toys.   hit self over head
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