ok, its getting ridiculous.

[moogie]

ok i know she's 2 but shouldn't she listen and respond to rules atleast a little. she bites t and me a lot, she always does things we say she shouldn't do.  i guess i've got to get back to basics with her.  i'm using natural consequences but it doesn't make much difference to her.  i'd pull my hair out if i wasn't losing it from breastfeeding anyway.  i got so mad this morning that i put her in her room and closed the door, just for a few seconds.  i got a hug out of that one, and she seemed to understand better but then was up to her usual foot biting again.   just mad and she's mad. arghhhh!!!!

[kokonutmama]

Oh man, Megs, I don't know what to say.  At least you know that you guys have a good relationship, so when you come out the other side of this, things will be better.   

[mum2maddox]

hey megs,  sorry i dont have much advice its hard we go through it on and off regualrly.

ive noticed maddox has become more and more irritable these last weeks as th weather has warmed up... i dont blame him im feeling yuk with it to...

hope al goes well ...

maybe we could meet up one day for a picnic wit the kids... give them something fun and different to do.

[jnezmama02]

Hugs...I was so there w/ Jessie at this age. Not so bad w/ Emi yet, but I think she's just a bit easier going and we've already got our rules and consequences pretty well set. Yes, she should be able to follow some basic rules like no biting, no hitting, etc.  I'm not sure what can help as discipline is the area I struggle w/ the most...sometime around 2 or 2.5yrs we got so fed up w/ just removing toys, etc that we moved into timeouts for hitting/biting/straight defiance (yelling "no" when we told her to do something). It works for Jessie as it gives her a chance to calm down and move away from what is sparking the problem. But, I also know a lot of people who follow positive parenting don't like timeouts for various reasons. To me, a time out is the natural consequence of biting someone...you bite someone, you don't get to spend time w/ the person. But, again, I know not everyone agrees w/ this.

[ShannonandDel]

Megs, this has got to be rough, especially with Asha to deal with. Is there a way for you or Tristan to spend some special one on one time with her? In my completely unexpert opinion, it sounds like sibling rivalry. She was the center of attention for a long time, and now she is sharing you. It is great that she is still so good with Asha though!

Hope, I am not a fan of timeouts, unless they make sense. In the case of hurting someone, I think that the natural consequense is to be taken away from that person, so it works for me there. The people who put their kids in time out every five minutes for every little thing are the people I have a problem with. I have a friend whose little boy, (20 months) yells at them all the time. She just told me he is now yelling, then going to time out on his own without even being told to go. She said it happens so often she can't even count anymore. I tried to gently suggest some GD, but she is 8 months pregnant, and she isn't listening to me very well. lol.

Good luck Megs. Please let us know how she is doing. If you want to fly out here, Delaney would love to play with her. She calls Charlie "pretty baby"

[jnezmama02]

Shannon, I understand your reservations about time outs. I think any parenting tool can be over-used, as is the case for time-outs w/ your friend.  I definitely think many people use time outs incorrectly or use them for every type of offense, which isn't the best way to use them. But, that's a problem w/ the execution of timeouts, not w/ time-outs as a tool. Just like timeouts, I also think sometimes people who TRY to follow pos. parenting or gentle discipline have a hard time b/c they don't execute it correctly. Again, it's not the tool that's the problem, but the excecution. I get so tired of seeing parents at the library, kids museum, etc who don't set the real consequences for hitting or biting. Saying to a child "please don't hit other kids, it's not nice" or "we don't bite" is SO not effective b/c it's not followed up w/ some kind of consequence. I also see parents who use all different kinds of discipline tools that use warning, after warning, after warning, after warning.  That is SO ineffectual. Basically, you give a warning and if they do it again, the consequence follows (or some people allow for 2 warnings and then consequence). Unfortunately, you can talk to a kid until your blue in the face, but until they are shown that there is some type of REAL consequence (can't play w/ a toy, have to leave the library, aren't allowed to play w/ others, etc), they aren't going to "get it" (well, unless you let it go until they're older, lol...they'll eventually get it on their own, but it will take a LONG time). So, I would never recommend people use time outs for just anything. But, in the case of straight defiance, hitting, biting, pinching, pulling hair, etc...then I do think it works as there doesn't seem to be a more natural consequence (when you're at home; obviously, leaving a playdate is the consequence if you're at a friends house).

[moogie]

thanks guys, just posting quickly as i'm home alone today. 

I agree with what you guys said about time outs.  when c bites or hurts us on purpose we will remove her from the situation.  that is a natural consequence.  we'll staart that soon.  i got proof that she can follow instructions today.  she has a scratch that got a little infected on her hooha.  and its itchy and se wanted to scratch it really badly but i asked her not to and that i was going to get something to help it and she laid flat on the ground hands by her side and didn't scratch.  she was crying she wanted to scratch it so bad.  so i'll start removing her from situations when it next occurs.

Shannon, too cute that Del calls Charlie pretty baby.  they can play any time.