It makes me so sad.

[moogie]

http://boards.babycenter.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?nav=messages&tsn=1&tid=22386&webtag=bcus1418521

[skeettafic]

I know that I was really lucky with Jocelyn's sleep as an infant but I just want to tell these people to suck it up and realize that they are talking about these teeny, tiny people who want nothing in the world than to feel loved and secure.  These babies aren't even 6 months old! 

One woman I work with who also has a June 06 baby (33 weeker) is struggling a lot with this.  She seems to have a typical 'high-needs' baby who is just generally fussy unless being held, etc.  She is all for holding him, etc and I think is pretty AP all around - she worked diligently to get nursing to work even though he was in the NICU for several weeks and has been reading a lot of Sears stuff - but she is getting it from everyone else that he 'should be.....' whatever.  I keep reassuring her that she did nothing to 'cause' him to be like this - he just is.  I really think she would cosleep but her DH is dead set that the LO stay in his crib.  I suggested she get a cot or futon to keep in his room that she could stay in there after his first waking but I don't know if she's tried that.

I just don't understand where the idea that our babies aren't deserving of every ounce of love, support and security that we have.

[moogie]

One of the comments was : i think its harder on the parents than it is on the baby. 

I just think that is ridiculous. 

[Lily84]

i feel so sorry for those sweet little babies... i read one saying she was watchin her son on the video monitor and although he stopped crying after 30 minutes, was not sleeping but just looking around in his crib. that breaks my heart, he gave up, he felt no one heard his cries and feels alone. i could never do that to my son. its really sad

[jnezmama02]

uggh...I hate that sh!t!!! My fav quote on there is: "I have even used it to make him sleep later in the morning".  WTH is up w/ that?  I never got that. These people are never satisfied. They want to put their kids to bed by 6pm and then make them sleep until 8am, straight. That totally doesn't fit w/ how babies at this age sleep. They're artificially making their kids sleep 9 or 10hrs and then, that's not good enough. They want the kids to sleep in later than most do (if going to bed that early) so that the parents can sleep in. arggh!! Then, some of these kids are in daycare it seems. Exactly how many hrs a day are the parents actually parenting and interacting w/ their child?  (not against parents who use daycare, just those that then try to FORCE their kids to sleep so early and straight thru...seems selfish to me, even w/ the "label" that it's better for the kids).

Or, what about this gem: "I'm going to go get her if she cries for 1 hour". WTF?  Since when did an HOUR become the marker that says it's now ok to cuddle w/ your child?  I honestly think that letting your child cry/scream/fuss for an HOUR straight w/o at least attempting to soothe is child abuse. That's hideous!! (obviously I realize that sometimes babies cry for an hr even when try to calm/soothe them...but that's different b/c you know they're safe and not hurt).  I'd like to see the percentage of CIO babies who end up in jail vs. those who were loved at night. I'm not saying they'd all turn out that way, but I bet a larger percentage of them...

Can you tell I have strong feelings about this?

[jnezmama02]

Lily84, I think you brnig up an excellent point.  For some reason, b/c babies don't have long term memory yet, it seems many people feel that the kids don't have FEELINGS like older children do (or, if they recognize they have feelings, they think they're not important b/c they won't remember how they felt later). There is quite a lot of new research which shows that infants, as young as a day old, experience physical pain and strong emotions, just like adults do (based on activity shown in different areas of the brain as seen on MRI). The only difference is that they can't communicate them w/ words...only w/ body language and different types of cries...which many parents ignore or misinterpret. It's so sad. These poor babies must feel so sad!

[kristenp5]

I totally agree with you.  I think of it like this...when my 2 year old calls me I answer.  When my husband talks to me I respond.  Why would I do anything less with Juney just because she's a baby?  What rally irks me is that these people are complaining about their babies waking up 2 or 3 times at night and that they're "forced" to do something.  My oldest was a great sleeper, but I've been keeping a sleep journal and Juney wakes up anywhere from 5 to 9 times every night (has for months).  I am totally exhausted, but my heart still melts every time I roll over at night and see her smiling face looking at me just waiting for the boob    Don't get me wrong, I'll be so very, very, very happy when she starts sleeping better at night, but I know it will happen in it's own time, when she's ready.

[ShannonandDel]

the poster that said that they don't want a two year old that wakes up at night made me so sad. It is like they think two is the same as ten. It goes so fast that I can't believe that Del is two already. She is still my little baby!
Oh, and my MIL was telling me last time she was here that she was sure that Delaney would be a better sleeper if I weaned her and had her sleeping by herself. I laughed at her and she asked why. I asked her when Scott slept through the night and she started laughing too. My bottle fed hubby who was weaned from  abottle at the age of one and always slept in his own room didn't sleep through until he was four. She told me that I made my point.

Oh, and Delaney was up five times last night and was up for the day at 4:30 this morning. Ugh!

[Lily84]

on a previous cio thread a lady said she didnt want to be rocking her 14 yo old to sleep, she had to learn somehow. my husband and i read that and both laughed, that is the most ridiculous thing ive ever read on there! they are only 5 months old for gods sake!! WTH is wrong with these people?? i think their lack of sleep is making them completely irrational!!

[Lily84]

OMG they are sharing tips on how to get the baby to sleep until 10 am!!

[skeettafic]

Even though I don't agree with CIO to put a baby to sleep I at least understood where some (uninformed) moms may feel they have no other option but using it in order to get a baby to sleep until you decide its time for him/her to get up is ludicrious!  I know that Delany is really the queen of early risers here but Jocelyn also gets us up well before dawn most of the time.  NEWS FLASH - you decided to have a baby so you don't get to live your life like you used to! 

[moogie]

Shannon, c is doing the multiple wake ups too.  Tristan is ragged. 

Anyone think we should make the AP board private?  some of the visitors including from babycenter may be CIOers, there might be some backlash on the birth board.  i can make APers available to it only?

[kokonutmama]

I vote no to making it private.  but don't go to to bbc anymore so...

[ShannonandDel]

I don't really think it should be private either. If CIO parents are visiting, then they should be here to learn and see about other ways to do it, If not, trolls can be easily dealt with
Just kidding. lol

[skeettafic]

I also say no to making it private.  There may be people who are here looking for another way to parent and we don't want to lose that opportunity to answer their questions or offer support.

BTW - My friend I referred to earlier is now doing an attended CIO with her son  .  I guess she felt like there was no other way.