It makes me so sad.

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
February 09, 2012, 06:19:15 AM

babies, babies everywhere!!! no news today.

8545 Posts in 1170 Topics by 17633 Members
Latest Member: knodiaunloari

Anyone else think that so much of this CIO stuff is due to the artificial environment western culture puts infants in (ie in a crib alone in a different room)? I mean, my kids woke up a lot, especially Jessie. She would only sleep for 45min straight the 1st 4 mos when we tried to get her to sleep in the bassinet in our room and the crib in her room. When I gave in and let her sleep in my bed, she started sleeping in 2-3hr increments and the awakenings went from us both being fully awake EVERY awakening to us both being half-asleep thru them, so it felt like I was sleeping tons in comparison. Emily was a much better sleeper from the beginning, but she also was in my bed from the beginning. Most nights, I don't even remember waking up to nurse her during the night. I only ever remember waking up if I had to change a diaper. Now, both girls sleep thru the night unless they have a nightmare, have a leaky diaper (Emily), need to go potty or pee in the bed (Jessie). I wake up more b/c I'm pg and need to pee 2-3xs a night than I do b/c of the kids. I know co-sleeping and their ages are the reasons we're all sleeping well!

Oh, yea, the whole thing about a 14yr old still needing to be rocked (or, my mom's fave phrase, "you don't want your child in college still sleeping in your bed") is just plain stupid! They're trying to be overly dramatic to get their point across, but it just is the most ridiculous example to use as obviously normal childhood development would prevent that from happening w/o any changes by the parents (kids naturally want space as they get older). To say I don't want a 2yr old needing to be rocked at least makes sense, even though it's sad b/c they're still so babyish at this age...but it's at least a realistic example. I think the thing is that you don't want a 5yr old needing to be rocked to sleep, anything before that is up for grabs, lol!

Oh, here's a tip for sleeping to 10am (b/c that's when we get up most of the time, lol)....put your baby to bed later...a lot later. Again, you can't expect to put your baby to bed at 6pm and have him sleep until 10am. If you put them to bed early, they'll get up earlier in the morning. If you put them to bed later at night, they'll get up later in the morning. Basically, as a parent, you have to decide when you want your free time (if putting the baby to bed in their own room)...night-time or morning-time....not BOTH!! Hello...how about you actually PARENT for more than 6hrs a day, lol!!

Oh, and no, this should not be private. If people come here to learn, that's great, they should be able to read it. If they come here to lurk and be trollish, then they'll still learn by reading how selfish they're being.

I agree, there is a huge diffeence between a baby who is content to sleep and one who just gives up hope. Or exhausts himself. There has to a limit to how many times they'll bounce back from that and trust us the next time.

If Elisabeth is content, I try to let her fall asleep on her own... she "plays" herself to sleep. If she tells me she needs contact, she gets it!

I hope my 14 mos old wants to be cuddled at bedtime!

What about the mom who almost sounded dissapointed because her baby fell asleep so quickly and she couldn't practice CIO that night?

yeah she sounded dissappointed that she might not get to be part of the CIO group. that is sad.

Yeah - you would think the response should be "Oh, good! Maybe he can sleep on his own without letting him cry!"

Yea, that was definitely a bizarre response. Some people are just never happy...even when they get what they want w/o a fight. Roll Eyes

I can't help but think of research I read in college about children left to cry. Their brain scans were somehow abnormal (I can't remember how exactly), in a way that made them more prone to depression and anxiety disorders in later years. It all makes me wonder if these early practices are contributing to the increase in diagnoses of mental illness and use of psychotropic medications, but that's a whole other issue... Undecided

Kristen -

You know I often wonder the same thing. I'm a therapist working with mentally ill children and the more I see the more I really feel that secure attachment is one of the real building blocks of a healthy life. That's not to say that if your securely attached then things will never go wrong but I think that it may be a source of resiliency. Insecure attachment and, in extreme cases, Reactive Attachment Disorder, almost seem to be a predictor for future mental health issues. I'm actually trying to get my head around it more because I'm thinking about focusing my future Ph.D. research in the areas of infant/child attachment and later mental health disorders. When I can get back to school that is!

Your area of potential research sounds interesting! If I can get back to school for a Ph.D. I want to look at how early and prolonged NICU stays affect parent-child attachment.

Wow, Jess, that's cool! About your PhD idea, not the bad stuff, obviously.

I vote no too. If CIO's visit an AP forum, what do they think they should be listening to. Maybe they will realize how wrong it is to let their babies CIO, and get a clue!

no worries guys, i wont privatise the board. Jessica and Kristen, love the PhD ideas,

I guess I was being a little judgemental Embarrassed

when I said that was "wrong" to let a baby CIO. I certainly shouldn't be judging others. I just believe that if my baby is crying, I need to fix something. I did check that link out, and it sounds like a lot of those moms are at their wits ends. I could personally never let my child cry for 20 minutes, not even 5 minutes, and not respond. It would feel like I was ignoring him.

Those posts make me nauseous. When I read about making those babies spend 30-60+ minutes crying and doing it multiple times a day!?(naps and bedtime) I want to ask why are they so selfish? They are just babies! Babies make their own schedule and they wake and nap as needed. Just as they eat and poop as needed. And like others said, when you put a tiny baby to sleep at 6:30, whine that they wake at some point to EAT and then they don't sleep in til 8? WTH?

[b][/b][i][/i]I also feel terrible for these kids. I am aware that most of these moms are at their wits end, but I just can't imagine letting my baby cry for an extended period thinking I've left him and don't care. He has cried in the car for about 45 minutes, but only because I couldn't pull over to tend to him (anyone driven I-80 across WY knows what I'm talking about) and DH was doing his best. Otherwise, when DS starts crying one of us will tend to him as quickly as we can...even if he just needs a cuddle, it's obvious he needs something.

And letting a baby cry for an hour? Huh

Holy crap! What is wrong with those parents? Huh

I've heard of people letting their baby cry for 3 hrs, now that is ridiculous.

I mean if they were tired they would not cry that long unless something is wrong.