Enabling self soothing

[moogie]

Now, As much as I want to cuddle Asha all day long, its just not possible with Charlie to play with and work to do.  Asha has been able to put herself to sleep, so I'm wanting to encourage this. 

So, sometimes she finds it a little difficult to get to sleep so she needs the breast or rocking, but what I'm concerned about is her losing her natural self soothing instinct that she had from birth. If I rock her rather than encourage her to do it by herself, do you think she'll lose that ability?  I mean how amazing to have a child who will put herself to sleep.  Such a change from how Charlie was/is.

I've noticed that she needs me to put her to sleep more than she did as a new newborn.

Any advice/opinions?

[skeettafic]

That's a tough one.  Jocelyn was a great sleeper when she was a newborn/young infant.  Before she was about 2 weeks old and then again from about 8-9 weeks on she would put herself to sleep, first in the middle of the night, then at bedtime and lastly for naps.  During that 6-7 week span we did walk or bounce her to sleep and I don't really think it interferred with her own self-soothing abilities as was evident when she started putting herself to sleep again.  I don't know.  I think so much of it has to do with temperament, etc.  Jocelyn was one of those babies that was happy to play by herself in her crib and then drift off so we didn't have to encourage the self-soothing aspect of sleeping. 

Not sure if that helped (or even made any sense!)

[moogie]

Maybe Asha is just going through a tougher spot right now.  Not thats its horrible at all.  I just want her to know that i'm here for her when she needs me but also I know that she can do it on her own. Charlie needs me a lot at the moment so its a bit of a balancing act.

[Figav]

hi Moogie

just saw this link on Nappyfree email and read your post about sleeping - i am probably in same position as you.  I have an almost 3 year old (who is a great sleeper and always has been) and Jonty (Son, 3.5 months) who is great once he is asleep but difficult to get to sleep.  I've actually got a mothercaft nurse coming this afternoon to give me some pointers as we've really struggled last couple of weeks (Jonty was sick with a cold and hardly sleeping in the day).  and i just want him to learn to have good sleeps and self settle as it's just so important for their growth and brain development (and my sanity!!)

anyway the last 2 days i've let him cry himself to sleep (after calling tresillian 24 hour helpline and they listened to the cry over the phone).  But really there was nothing else i could do as Nothing else (rocking. breastfeeding. patting, etc) all werent working and he was so wired and overtired he was just giggling.

anyway he's just gone to sleep now by himself after crying for an hour - breaks my heart to let him cry but it gets shorter every time and i know soon he'll realise he can just go to sleep when i put him down.  at least when he does go to sleep he sleeps 10-12 hours straight at night (not even waking for a breast feed, and about 3 hours for his day sleeps) so that is half the battle won, isnt it.

and i'll see what the mothercraft lady says this afternoon and let you know.

[ShannonandDel]

Megs, are you using any kind of baby carrier for Asha?

[jnezmama02]

This happened w/ Emily. I think it's just that they get out of the newborn "my instinct is to sleep all the time" phase, and now need to be parented to sleep as they need help transitioining from participating in the world to sleep (rather than just sleeping off and on all the time). It's harder w/ two I know, but honestly, my best advice is to nurse, rock, etc to sleep as she needs it...you'll all get more sleep in the long run, I think.

[moogie]

We're using a ring sling from time  to time, which Asha falls asleep in really easily.

Figav, We have a private group near us who help with sleep issues, but really I am not concerned with her sleep at the mo, i just don't want her to lose that skill.

Hope, I think you're right, Asha is exiting the sleep and eat phase and becoming more active, so I'm not going to stress.  I'll rock her if need be, but i'll still encourage her to sleep on her own too.  She seems to be completely happy when she wakes by herself and will start looking at things in the room.   Also gives Charlie and I more time together, which is so important.