preliminary advice (way early)

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
February 09, 2012, 06:32:58 AM

babies, babies everywhere!!! no news today.

8545 Posts in 1170 Topics by 17633 Members
Latest Member: knodiaunloari

hey guys- i have some questions about some things ive been thinking about recently- i thought id come and pick you lovely ladies brains for advice.

firstly- im not pregnant 'yet' we start TTC in 2 weeks yah.. anyway its just this hopefully impending pregnancy has me addressing some past issues and i guess i need some level headedness and support IYKWIM and any of your own experiences would be fantastic.

ok some history-

i self admit now when i was preg with Mad that i didnt do any research past giving birth

my main focus was on DH being overseas and i was a bit depressed about that- going through preg alone TBH it didnt occur to me to do any research ect... i intended to BF but i guess figured it would happen with little or no trouble.

Maddox had his last BF at 3 mths old- but he was comp fed from 2 weeks old- he was feeding on demand well till then and i think looking back that i had ok supply- he fed a lot on demand i felt like he was on breast for 40 minutes out of every hour. I was exhausted and in pain with cracked nipples but feeling ok about the BF and how it was going, i went to the Doc for a check up (i had never met the doctor) and she insisted i comp feed him formula every night one bottle so DH could feed him and i could sleep- she even GAVE me the formula. My stupidity (and the lack of research i had done) had me assume she knew what she was talking about and so we did this (the next night)... well as soon as maddox had a bottle he was a different baby and from then on breast feeding became an issue he was so fussy and looking back i guess he got used to the easy feed... slowly everything went down the drain. i should add maddox had colic so was always uncomfortable and gassy in those first months.

i guess i convinced myself the doc was right as when i returned to her she refferred to my supply issues ect... and the comp feeds overtook the BF and so on untill we wound up fully bottle fed at 3 mths. I tried expressing in those three mths regularly but didnt have much luck.

anyway i probably havent told the story very well... but you get the idea...

since our experience all went pear shaped a few things changed-

i think most importantly

we discovered AP and thus made a lot of AP friends- most of these breastfeed and have overcome amazing odds to do so- i look back and i really think the problems i had were mostly external - the stupid doctor- lack of support- mild pnd- dh leaving to go overseas again... this stuff i guess got me in the wrong head space and started the ball rolling to a bad BF experience , i was convinced that i couldnt do it in the end which i know know was a load of shite.

moving on

with my next pregnancy i plan so much to be different- most importantly a babymoon full of peace and quiet and NO visitors and lots of one on one time to get things flowing... having DH around... and being armed with knowledge and support networks in place with help and information that is correct and in line with my beliefs. does that make sense... i feel like this is not making any sense and feel very odd for posting this when im not even pregnant. haha

anyway my questions or requests for support and confirmation i guess are...

1- armed with the right information and support i shouldnt take my BF experience with #1 into account when thinking about what future experiences will be like. (just because it didnt work with #1 doesnt mean it wont with #2)?

2- where do i go to get all the info i need? books? web links?

3- does anyone have any advice for me- i know i have AGES to work this all out but i started thinking about all this as soon as we decided to start TTC and im excited and just want to be prepared.

thanks everyone if you made it to teh end of this- i have maddox on my lap and demanding food otherwise id go back over and make it easier to understand.

thanks in advance

Sarah

First, I'm sorry you had such a hard time bfing Maddox. I'll try to answer your questions.

1- armed with the right information and support i shouldnt take my BF experience with #1 into account when thinking about what future experiences will be like. (just because it didnt work with #1 doesnt mean it wont with #2)?
You should definitely not think that one will relate to the other. I had trouble bfing w/ my 1st (had low supply issues and she lost a lot of weight, etc) but no problems w/ #2. I've had a few problems w/ #3, but overall not been too bad. Each baby is different and your body is different w/ each one.

2- where do i go to get all the info i need? books? web links?
"The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" is the most often referenced book I see. I've flipped thru it, but didn't really think it offered anymore info than I picked up from online. As far as breastfeeding resources online, I think http://www.kellymom.com is by far the best resource I've seen in getting all kinds of info on bfing when I have a problem. There's also support forums on there, though I've never ventured into them. http://www.babycenter.com has birth boards where you can find support, also there's some bfing and problems w/ bfing boards on there. La Leche League also has some great resources on their website, http://www.llli.org/nb.html. I think this is important to read thru these while you are preg. But, more importantly, I think it's good to know your local resources for hands-on help before and after the baby arrives. Do you have a local La Leche League? If so, after you are preggo, start attending meetings and getting to know some of the women there. Are there Lacatation Consultants at the local hospital or for hire in town, in case you need support? Try to make sure you have all their contact info before the baby is due. Do the LCs at the hospital or in town offer breastfeeding classes? If so, make sure you take them.

3- does anyone have any advice for me- i know i have AGES to work this all out but i started thinking about all this as soon as we decided to start TTC and im excited and just want to be prepared.
Well, it sounds like you know the obvious answer. The general rule of thumb is to not introduce ANY artificial nipples (pacifier or bottles) before 4-6wks old. Many babies just flat out prefer bottles over the breast b/c they get milk quicker. Also, when/if you decide to add in a pacifier or bottle, make sure it is the kind that is like the breast. Generally, instead of just a straight up nipple like old-style bottles, the nipples will have a wider base (like Avent, playtex drop-in, etc). Also, most LCs recommend the silicone nipples over the latex ones, for both pacis and bottles. Finally, make sure you realize that bfing is hardest in the first few months, but then it gets a whole lot easier after those first few months.

I'm not sure how helpful this is, b/c it sounds like you are have a good handle on what the problem was in the past.

Sarah, as you probably know Charlie was a difficult one to breastfeed, but Asha was great at it. So it is certainly different between kids.

Things to remember:
- In the early days if you feel you are constantly feeding and baby is tired and not latching properly, try other settling techniques to give your nipples a break.
- Like Hope said, no dummies or bottles for atleast 4 weeks.
- Unless they are losing weight or not weeing enough then your supply is fine. a fussy baby is not necessarily a hungry baby and that fussiness will probably ease after 6 weeks.
- keep yourself well. eat well and drink enough water.

thanks guys

rationally i know all this to be true. im sure once ive given birth ill be chewing all your ears off for help and advice...